It was wonderful !!

Sam was keeping busy with her annual day practices at school.... she would sing and dance each day at home leaving me kinda puzzled as to what is she exactly performing in??!! There comes the D day and on a sunday my baby has to wake up at 6am...get ready and rush to school. Its her annual day today. Beginning at 5.40am, I come and go..kissing her..caressing her...touching her so as she preferably herself wakes up. No use...awww... she's in such a sound sleep...Whatt man..a few minutes performance..why cant she sleep...rofl. "Sammie...today is your annual day na..see mumma has kept evrything ready...your lehga...bangles...makeupkit... wanna go?!!" There she moves, yawning with a smile...mumma is it my annual day today? Yes it is..come here my sweety pie. And she lands in my lap, SOOOO excited. Cum'on mumma lets not waste time, then you have to do my makeup also na!!! By 7 she's done with her milk and getting ready and loads of instructions from mumma for the day...

We put her in the car and drive to school. Its quite cold for kids at 7.10 in the morning and I could see many of them with red cheeks...pink lipsticks..kajal and eye liners...but no warmers!! I happen to ask one of the mums whos daughter is in the same performance as Sam and she says..it'll get warm in the bus and at the audi..Kids bcum cranky whne they feel hot. A double-minded Mum creeps up within me but I somehow push her down and drop Sam at school....and keep wondering -would she be feeling uncomfortable wearing a half sleeve top under her choli?!!

And there we reach the Siri Fort Audi at 11, expecting her item to begin anytime. Next announcement tells us that her item is after the next 3 to come and relaxed we sit...my mind restless though - would she be feeling suffocated waiting at the back-stage?!! BUT ALL MY RESTLESSNESS washed off when li'll presidians performed...aww..all that was so very cute..the wonderful hosts at stage. It was surprising to see how kids of that age rembered when to speak WITH EXPRESSIONS and when t o halt and again continue. One of the best was a 3rd grade student who stood on stage for the oath taking by all who were present there. I have always loved the efforts put in by Presidium...performance of the special needs children from Savera special school. Amazing it was to see kids aging from 4 yrs to 10 yrs rolling on their skates on stage ... the taekwondo..pyramids....the Impressive ten academies of the school present their items with a theme....a message....ANd then comes RAMAYANA...and we bend forward on our seats - We have to locate Sam now !! The lovely dialogues by little Rama...Sita and not to forget Surpnakha..she was so sweet chubby..and the way she spoke...why would any Rama or Laxman feel like chopping her nose...lolz!! The chubby Ravana :-) The vanvaasi Rama..who's wig strangled itself in the bow and got removed and he was busy setting it whilst speaking his dialogues...that left the audience into laughter filled with love for the innocence. Dhan-tan-tan...comes Sam's dance :-) she looks cute and much younger with kids of her age as to what we feel her to be at home !!

Each time I attend any of the get-togethers at Presidium, I feel elated and proud parent of a Presidian, a school thats winning laurels all over the world and nurturing our kids with love, affection, truth and facts of life yet preparing them to face the actual world. I hope Sam excels and our faith keeps making us proud!!

Mumma...why didn't God make us perfect ?!!

As all kids, my li'll one who's 5 leaves me ahem ahem wondering many a times. I find myself usually good enough as per her anxiety towards the surroundings and I think I give her satisfactory answers most of the times...thanks to my parents for inculcating this into me...But these innocent minds put up some such questions, which even if I answer spontaneously for her, leave me myself wondering and wandering for the right answer.

Today while bathing her, I was just trying to remind her of a mistake she did the last day and was trying to give her valid reason for why do I call it a mistake, because my NOT SO LI'LL one says that she isn't sure most of the times that what she is doing or saying is right or not..then she's deemed to do mistakes and should always be forgiven...smart one haan!! So a one-to-one talk one fine day and a deal between us both that mumma softly reminds you and tells you that this is wrong and you would listen and try to follow WITHOUT CRYING AND TANTRUMS!! So now, back to the bathing....on my reminder, she says mumma daily you have something or the other to tell me...something new for me to know...something old that was wrong as per you...till when will I keeplearning learning learning....I am 5 years and I still don't know...how do I know whether you are right or I was right?! hmmm...Dear...elders are better experienced thats why mumma always asks papa...papa discusses with grandpa and grandma..you see that na...and you are the youngest so we all want you to be the best baby so as all would love you. 

Mumma are you all still learning?? Yes baby....don't I say sorry to you when I get wrong somewhere, be it having scolded you hard at times...Hmmm....comes her nodding head...with her mind thinking aloud. 
Mumma, you say God is our Father...our Mother..he made us all..he is the Principal of all Gods...then what are we and why are we....why did he need to make us all?? Sweety, just like you play with your dolls...make them different characters each day, scold them, teach them, love them, dress them ...like mumma does all this to you...so does God , our parent!!
Mumma..but you want na that your baby should be best...and God has all the power..why didn't he make all humans best??

This was one that made me go TOIIIING...What do you mean to ask sweety?? Why aren't we born big?? BIG means what baby....?mmmm...BIG means ... mmm... that I would have known what is wrong so as I never go wrong...no one needs to instruct me...no one would scold me..whole world would be my friend....i would not make anyone sad....and you all would not need to keep after me all the time...for all my works!!

I hugged her wet....my darling...we all love to do this to you...just like you get bored of a dress...a doll..same toys...just like when you learn an alphabet and you want something new to learn....all mummas love to dress their kids...have fun with them and then see how we sit and recall what we did on some day and rolly polly laugh over it..isn't that fun??!! Yes mumma..comes back a hug!!

Mumma...nani also did all this with you? Yes  and when you will grow old you too will become someone's nani??sho shweet a question...yes baby I will !! and whoosh came the next - yuhuuu...then there will be a new baby in our house who will callyou nani and I will have a new cousin to play with....  

Hmmm....How I learn whats life everyday from my 5 yr old. How she yearns to always be happy and loved, keeping aside all her bad feelings, always willing to be friends with everyone...how she wants not to make anyone sad...whatever may be the true reason...might be wanting to get excused from being corrected for her mistakes....How she managed to challenge the CREATOR, for not making all humans perfect and loving!! 

Very rightly said Rabindranath Tagore - 
Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. 

God bless all kids , the pure souls.

The hourglass !!

The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.
Jean Paul

And this one quote speaks much about life …. The ‘hourglass’, our mirror…mirror of experiences, mirror of victories and failures, mirror of pride and guilts, mirror of accepting and relenting!! Just yesterday, did I say for some reason – life is so short…I look back and feel there have been countless moments that I wasted, I lost.  Was it that I wasn’t humble enough to accept my fault…. Was it that I wasn’t mature enough to understand at times, was it that I didn’t have enough space to spread my arms… Its greed, greed to live more, to love more, to do more…for the ones I care for ….. greed to be loved more, be wanted and there goes hand in hand, FEAR, of being loved more, expected more from, fear of the sand escaping…sweeping alongwith it…the precious time, leaving memories behind, Fear of the same feeling standing affront me – Life is so short.

Each day, I teach my li’ll one to learn to peep within herself. Preaching her helps me peep within myself. What I would want her to be, makes me rectify myself for what I should have been….alas, I don’t always succeed but thankfully neither do I expect her to succeed always J

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank

I strongly wish I keep to my ideals and I believe, what one’s heart and mind says should go hand in hand. At times, I know my heart is befooling me and at others I know my brain is trying to take advantage of me ! All I try t o keep reminding myself is that life is perfect , its all about a good, better or best combination of the similar kinds of hearts and brains under one roof….so, all in all, All people are good at heart!!

Home sweet home !!

Weddings...diwali..weddings... shoppings....outstations...fun...frolic...long-time-no-sees-get-togethers !! and then....PUNCTURED EXHAUSTED. Back to home and Sam runs to pick her dolls..snatches her kitchen set from her almirah, rushes out of her boots and when the clock is striking 12 at night, after a tiring travel back home...a smile she brought to me when I saw her talking to her dolls, asking them how they were and did they miss her. Ohh, you have bcum so dirty, didn't you bathe all these days..you could have helped each other na!! I could see how she was stealing my words and dealing with her dolls ;-) A glance at my face, a blush at hers - Mumma, why are you watching me this way. Sam , how are you feeling being back home? I enjoyed the wedding this much (tiny finger up), I enjoyed being back this much (index finger up), I am enjoying having my toys...books...dolls.. back after days this much ( ring finger up) and I will enjoy being back to school this much...(middle finger up). OKAY, she has learnt to prioritise :-) How happy she was , excited to have her toys, books and pillow back to herself.

Have loads of unpacking to myself, cleaning of the locked house, daily routines from the next day...but I am happy too....relaxed to have my room back...my bed...my kitchen...lol. Back from a vacation, each time, I feel, when I love my home so much...why do I need to go out for a vacation!! and each time I smile to myself when I answer back - Will ask you after a few months ;-)

Take off those flabs!!!!

Visit to Sam's doc came like a shock to me....Waiting room with a weighing scale..Mumma lets try out !! ghosh...I gained another 5 kilos!!! Where the hell is all my morning exercise going? What is happening to my day long physical work and what about my family always telling me to keep sweet items equally in my diet for the balance...After all this, I gained another kilos!!! hmmmpphhh...shocked n sad I turned back the pages and tried to see what went wrong. Am I gonna keep struggling to maintain myself like this all my life. How lucky are those who don't gain weight so easily and for me, be strict for a month as there's a vacation or wedding approaching and those 3-4 days cover up all I shed...more than that at times :-(

SO, here goes my search again and I find some more facts, some that I knew but were better reminded and some I better know now !!We all know that losing weight means eating fewer calories, and burning more energy through physical activity. It sounds simple. But I know how hard I find burning those 50-100-150 calories on my cross-trainer.I'd share some-

-Holidays off and on might be good for your stress levels, but they could be bad for your weight. Eating out?? keep in mind to have foods in smaller portions because its usually the visible quantity in number that satisfies our satiety level :-) Have a pizza cut into 8 slices rather than 4 and you know you need to have 4 slices or may be 5 of THOSE 8 !!It takes up to 20 minutes for your body to let you know that you’ve eaten enough, so eat slowly and you’ll have a better chance of avoiding that over-stuffed feeling.
-Foods labelled low fat - They may be lowering fat but increasing upon sweetners...“Read the labels,” says Lisa Miles. “You need to look at the overall energy and calories. Remember, although a food may have a reduced amount of fat, it may still have the same amount of calories.”
Exercise n stress !! Both inter-related...
-“Snack on fruit and veg, and other low-calorie options such as plain popcorn, crackers and rice cakes,” says Anna Suckling. Try to find ways to cope with stress that don’t involve food. “Exercise helps promote mental wellbeing through the release of endorphins which help to combat stress," explains Anna.
-Telivison and weight - You have time and love to watch soaps or movies..DO so but not with popcorns or chips in hand but by placing your exercise bike in front of the TV !!
-Weight gain is a common side effect of many drugs. The most common drugs that can cause weight gain are steroids (taken for many conditions including arthritis, eczema and asthma), antidepressants such as amytriptiline, anti-epilepsy drugs and antipsychotic drugs.So, make sure you follow a healthy diet plan, good for both getting better faster and weight control.
- Dr Neil Stanley, sleep expert at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, says,  "There seems to be a strong link between lack of sleep and putting on weight." A recent study from the University of Chicago found that lack of sleep increases levels of the hormone ghrelin, which makes you feel hungry.
-Table manners... Learn to say “no thank you,” and stick with it. Get used to the idea that it’s OK to leave food on your plate.

So far so good !! I'm so grateful to google. Its no less than a stressbuster when I hunt and find convincing answers ;-)

ThankYou God for the World so sweet !!

Few such lines which I somehow keep humming , almost,always...are much more just the prayers from my childhood. They touch my soul and bring with them bright scenes of learning. Sam was so tired after her skating yesterday that she just wanted to get home....no marketing !! Sleep time and the bed and room was damn messy....SAMMIE..... time to sleep, pack up all your stuff..look at the room and the bed..why don't you take out one thing at a time to play..there's no space to step inside....and her beautiful eyes were following my words with a question - SO WHAT MUMMA!! I FELT LIKE PLAYING!!

Okay, I'll clean up the bed and you do the rest... Okay mumma....and there she goes sitting on the floor as I arrange the rest of the room. 5minutes...10minutes...All set except the floor and she speaks up - Mumma you just said na that the messy bed was IRRITATING you...now plz dont look at the floor until I say its done!! Okay ..make it fast....5minutes...10...15...20...My episode AXE ur EX was over..Cum'on sweety time to brush your teeth...Ohh Lord!! Wats this?? Half an hour and she was still busy playin and now she says - I'm too tired cos of skating..plz help me clean up mumma....

All done and we in bed chanting our daily prayers ..... I kept on instructing her to close her eyes n sleep..my hands go to her li'll feet massaging them as we lie together. There come a sweet voice and li'll fingers on my eyes - Mumma...thoda upar tak daba do na, achha lag raha hai :-) I just couldn't resist telling her - You know Sam when mumma, chhoti mumma (masi) and mamu were kids na....nanu used to press our feet daily like this for few minutes before sleep and in winters Mumma used to feel tooo cold, so he cuddled me in his lap and used to sit in my place and put me in bed when it was warm!! Sam - Mumma just like Papa does it for me...:-) Yes Babu. And nani used to give us milk, first thing in evening as soon as she reached home from office... Sam - just like you do when I wake up?? Shining eyes opened wide - Mumma when you were not a mumma but had chosen to have me, Did the blue fairy come to you to tell you to do all this?? mmmm.... Then howcome, all parents do such things, my friend also told me her parents do the same to make her sleep...DO you all discuss this on phone and do this to us kids??Me - Baby ask dadu dadi and nanu nani about this :-)

She gave a sweet smile and went off to sleep, again, leaving me wondering ..... TIME IS SO STRONG!! It makes us learn all thats needed. Some things come in only with time, age and experience....no words can teach all this. I don't remember mumma papa having sat with us to make us learn any prayers or bhajans and Sam too is learning just as easily :-) How I realise ITS NEVER LATE TO LEARN. I'm just as old as a mother as she is as a daughter, we both are just 5. I learn a lot from her about having been a daughter and about how to raise one !!

HAPPY DAUGHTER'S DAY DARLING !!

Yelled at the FunCity guy.... ggrrrrr.....

How ignorant he was behaving...that too with the li'll kids and the Parents  out there. Why were all just bearing him??? Went for an outing at the Ambience Mall Gurgaon with a family. Sam and Rosch, almost the same age...awww....How excited they were to play games at the funcity . Sakshi, mom to Rosch, got the card....500, I think...for kids to enjoy. I must say, Sam was for the firstest time willing to play games, may be cos of the company of a naughty li'll cute boy! They played games, happy...excited...shouting...running...and collected just some tickets, may be a 50 or so and were too excited to get the redemption gift in return for those tickets. Gift, be it anything, sounded like a matter of pride to them...they had won it afterall :-). Running out of time at 10.30 in the night and dinner yet pending, we decided NO MORE GAMES.....reached the redemption counter...the guy counted the tickets and said 2 pencils....Okay....Sam , new to games was quite happy, I won a pencil....Rosch was not too happy having won a just small pencil...but okay rules were rules. We didn't expect the guy to give them a teddy for those 50 tickets :-) but what we expected was that he would let them have their choice of color for the pencil. He gave 2 similar pencils... I asked Sam was she okay with that...peeping through the counter glass- "Mumma..vo purple wali jispe smileys bane hain". I asked "Rosch, which color do you want baby." but he was not interested in the pencil and was quite unhappy. Sakshi asked me to just take Sam's and he shall get settled in few moments. Sakshi asked the guy...WHO WAS FREE THEN, to kindly exchange the pencil and give Sam the purple one...No response...she requested again...no response...he stood dumbstuck!! We waited for few seconds...Sam's shining eyes at the purple smiley pencil...I requested the guy...he wasn't even looking at us standing exactly in front of us just across the counter...Requests over, I asked him to change...no response....There came another set of parents with LOADS of tickets for redemption...The guy took them and started counting..."Excuse Me!!" I said...hmmphhh.... My poor li'll Sam looked at me with a sad face " Mumma, is he not gonna give me that purple one?" And that single sentence of hers was of much greater value to me than those 500 Rs or that pencil that costed a mere Rs2...it made me wild...I caught hold of those tickets...keeping in mind not to spoil them as THE KID was waiting for his gift...I kind of yelled at the guy- " WHat will take you lesser time...couting these hundreds of tickets or exchanging a pencil lying at your hands' length??" He just atred at me...FURIOUSLY, I picked up both our pencils and gave them straight onto his nose shot alongwith 2-3 angry sentences...

Some of you might feel this weird and over-reaction...I don't...Why did we drive an hour, spend ..Okay just Rs.500 for the card...stood there requesting for 15 minutes for the pencil..JUST FOR THE SMILE AT OUR KID"S FACES. Why do any of you parents take your kids to these places..Only for that smile and excitement. ANd that man, he behaved as if we were ghosts he could neither see nor hear....such a man was handling the entire FUNCITY section of the mall??!! Shameful I must say. Yet another thing that I was surprised at was that none of the parents who were besides me, watching all this nonsense raised their voice with me...next could have been their kid making a sad face just for not getting a small toy of his color choice!!! Who the hell gave the rights to that guy, who is being paid salary from OUR pockets to behave this way...as if the mall was his and he was letting our kids play for free. ALso, few games were not working...BUT...they were working enough to deduct money from the card when it was swiped !!! Out of 5 requests, twice a guy came up and let us use the funcity card for our deducted momey..Fine, it was just a matter of say a Rs.100 but my question is..if they knew those games were not working..WHY DID THEY NOT PUT UP A SIMPLE SLIP AT THE GAMES DISPLAYING THAT THE GAME IS NOT WORKING?? Many parents just shifted to next game..many retried twice thrice at same games and got their money deducted....100rs from each pocket must have made them a thousands within an hour or two. Whats all this rubbish in a BIG MALL??!! ANd there was no incharge to attend my complaint about this irresponsible behaviour of the staff...Great...and we parents take pride in announcing that we went to the mall ...to make a fool out of ourselves!!!

Parenting is an ART..so is maintaining Any Relationship!!

I have been reading a book since a few months...Yup, I'm taking months to read cos I am not a regular reader...or I better say, I don't get time to be one....and I happen to re-read many of its pages as and when I feel the need to. It was about Simple Ways to reduce STRESS but the book and the author has lots more to say beyond the topic and I simply love his quotes as much as I love Sudha Gupta's parenting tips...I am till date a loyal follower of her tips :-) Just read a post today at my favourite forum, an elderly woman who is now into the HALL OF FAME for that forum speaks of simple ways to be humble and maintain healthy relations and her small thread is flooded with replies. It says - Be it any age ... it demands respect .... each age has a different definition of RESPECT..

a 3 yr old - let her choose her choice of dress to her activity class - she feels resepcted
a 10 yr old - let him/her choose his dish from the menu - he feels respected
a 14 yr old - let him /her choose own set of friends...advise...dont tag any of them - he/she feels respected
a 18 yr old - let him/her choose the way of dressing to a party - he/she feels respected
a 21 yr old - let him/her choose the path of earning - he/she feels respected and come back to you/parents for advise and guidance
a 27 yr old - let him/her choose the one he/she wants to spend life with - he/she feels respected
a 30 yr old - let them decide the way they wish to maintain the house and spend on their child - they feel respected
a 40 yr old - let them be approached for suggestions for  decisions at home and work - they feel respected
a 50 yr old - let them advise you to what way should be taken to save for future - they feel respected
a 65 yr old - let them hear being praised for their efforts infront of their grandchildren - they feel respected

So, said the wise lady, respect differs to each person and each age...All thats needed is to be humble enough to understand where to be assertive.....to be able to differentiate, realise and agree that its time you leave your nest and move with time....to be able read the psychology that which are those 8 times out of 10 when you should leave your loved ones free to decide and support them in society rather than having pity on yourself for not having been heard...which are those 8 minor decisions you let them take...which will then make them trust you for those 2 major decisions in life.

I had a topic in my mind, I wanted to write about -  "PROMISES I MAKE TO MYSELF" but I realised that before I pen down about that , there's much more I need to realise, learn, gather experience. Here, it reminds me of a single dialogue once stated by my uncle cum guide, Dr.Ashwani Malhotra - "You are a doctor now, but before being anything...learn to BE HUMAN !! Learn to differentiate when to have pity...when to have sympathy...when to be strict..when to be arrogant ...when to be humble and when to be adamant. At each phase and stage of life, learn to forget who you are and how old you are.....learn to realise and accept that when the other is NOT WRONG, there's no harm in agreeing to him. That is how you maintain healthy relations, be it with your parents, siblings, friends or colleagues." SO true that was...he must not even be remembering now about this but I do :-)

I, hereby thank all whom I get to learn from...my parents, my sibs, my daughter, my relatives, my friends, my foes...all :-) Each lesson makes us a better human...if we wish to learn from it and most of all Implement it.

Remember...d you remember.... Who's turn is it now??

Oye chal na aj gol gappe khane chalte hain.....n tab our joint used to be Prince ke gol gappe. Mumma hum jaein? aapke liye chowmein le aenge....you know friends..my li'll sis used to be sooooo chubby...fat, must I say....her classmates bullied her... and I used to fight at home - humei alag school mei kar do..iske friends isse chhedte hain..ye roti hai...school ka lunch nahi khaati...main kya sabse ladti hi rahungi. My Gol Gappa, she was and later accompanied me to eat gol gappas, which she never ate...lol...PAISE for 2 plates, one for both but we used to have one , get her aloo chat !! Moti, do u remember that fight, kaise bhool sakti hai, we keep narrating that to everyone till date, when you bit me and I hit you hard on your back and each fight of ours or us sneaking away from cleaning our room  ended with mum's typical dialogues - jis ghar mei do behne hoti hain na, vaha to dhunde se bhi zameen pe tinka nahi milna chaiye......behno mei to ek dusre ki jaan basi hoti hai...tum dono to mujhe pagal kar dogi...rofl....But see mumma, I proudly say TODAY...hum mei ek dusre ki jaan basi hai :-) and hum dono ke ghar mei hote hue apko dhunde se bhi ek tinka nahi milega :-) Plz exclude Sam's sharartein from all this !!

My milk glasses always poured into moti's tummy making her chubbier and softer and her veggies into my plate...dekho shuru se kitna dhyan rakhte the ek dusre ka hum...root cause..mumma ne kuch bacha hua dekh liya to daant padegi.....so SAATHI HAATH BADANA ..... lol. She used to play with dolls and I was the authorotative teacher. I was like one of her dolls who was growing with her, whom she loved to dress and decorate...hahaha...that reminds me of " BUCHHI" bechare ko parlor parlor khelte khelte ganja kar dala tha humne. But he was soon replaced by Yashu...ganja hone ke liye nahi...to be pampered. Me, a meek character and she, a rebellion ...... me, a writer,a composer, her singer and she, my artist, my crafts lead, my tomboy......me, a stick on her head to study during late nights for exams and she, my voice for all that I needed to ask for...WE.....EACH OTHER'S STRENGTH !!

Hey, mumma papa...you should be so elated and proud to have such kids ;-) ajkal ke bachhe kaha itna pyar karte hain ek dusre se....hahaha. I wonder how kids to the same set of parents with the same nurturing, vary so much in nature, behaviour and then in their fortune .... but blessed we are, having been instilled with values that help us in all goods and bads and more so blessed we are to have the best men as our partners, who are both our weakness as well as our strength.

Thanking mum papa for everything and our respective men in our lives, I would KINDLY like to insist...not to take these posts as our weakness ...Tareef kar di to aasmaan pe mat chad jana koi bhi...I AM EQUALLY A NEED FOR ALL OF YOU ...... hahahaha!!!

Moments cherished !! Home...dedicated to mumma papa and bhai ;-)

I'm digging hard to catch hold of any one instance of the many that are dashing in my mind to begin with... My li'll bro.. so cute he was, now turned into a macho... :-) making me run behind him...where's my baby..behind the curtains...under the table... mmm...here you are..chalo..open your mouth and have a bite...NAH...and there he runs off...another 30 minutes of parade and the li'll tummy is full for this mealtime. Days passed by, so did weeks and months and years, when I saw him grow into a teenager, my chubby boy dressed in a doctor's coat or as a policeman or as KRISHNA each year till he was 6-7, now insists on letting him choose his style of wear and me and Sis here convincing mum dad on one side and him on the other and this continues till date for different matters :-)

Another part of childhood I see now at back of my eyes.... my koochie koo is not well...what was it, I don't remember....mum's badly upset making hell lot of dishes in small quantities, he might put something in his little mouth. O Lord !! why can't kids explain whats wrong..how do I help him...calling docs..pouring in medicine was all the more harder... Burden at workplace, should I go or not..my baby needs me at home, DIDIS cannot replace mumma-papa. Papa's endless calls from office - How's he, did he eat something, should I get something he feels like eating..Okay we'll take him to another doctor today...Sun Sets, there comes Papa with a rolling car to make him happy and we four surround him, making him busy and befooling him into eating something. Papa is singing songs and dancing in front of him..Mumma preparing something and we two sisters, unknowingly, are learning PARENTING !! Clothes were his fantasy and so was dressing him for mum and papa and he was like a soft toy, OUR POSSESSION, for us two.

Growing together, we never realised mumma papa were growing old too :-( We could see ourselves trun into youngsters, and adults with million dreams in our eyes...we couldn't see them with fewer but realistic dreams or should I say expectations from life, of giving the best and safe future to their beloved kids...until the day I got married !!! Then was my sis's turn and bro reaches out to hostel, mumma papa left behind with all these sweet and sour memories. Must have hurt them, for sure. I can realise when I see my girl grow each day..when I see old pics of my li'll bro. We, family, love each other sooo much...how we missed all those years...those moments, not having expressed our love and appreciation. But Its never late :-) A BIG CHANGE..the house we 3 grew up for 20+ years of our life is being shifted from now. Mumma papa moving forward with life but I can see the memory flushes on their faces, when they talk of small incidents that happened in the TV room or under the dining table hmpphh!!

How hard they prayed for us, what toll they have paid for us all these years. Mumma Papa, we all love you so very much and feel sorry for not being good enough at expressing that, but you know we do :-) Its the same for parents as well as kids - ALL PARENTS AND KIDS MIGHT NOT BE PERFECT PARENTS AND KIDS BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER PERFECTLY !!

A day that seems so short !!

It was a birthday in my family .... and Sam's usual question - mumma when will I grow up to be 5..why does it take so long?? What does she have to do being 5 :-) I ask her to count and there she goes on her fingertips... I ask her to count 30...She begins all over again...and is slowing down by the time she reaches 22...23...lolz..Sammie..mumma is that old that you are not even comfortable counting the number..you will turn just 5....WHOOSH...comes her hand to my shoulder - See...I have grown so BIGGG...now if I turn 5 I can wear your sandals...hahaha !!

An elderly's birthday and he was as excited as Sam is for turning 5 whilst he turns 62 :-) Read a friend's blog about her birthday and my mind was sweeped with thoughts again. A single word "Birthday" and it means so different to all of us. A light conversation last night with my Mr.... and we felt time is flying...life is so short..so short to be enjoyed completely being together. We are losing so many moments of happiness in struggle for survival...rush to have everything possible. Life is so short and years are passing by like anything. Life seems to be as short as a dream but KIDS - they wish to grow up fast :-). We miss the years that have passed for those memories we cherish and always will. I hope all days be as beautiful and awaited as the BIRTHDAY - a day that seems so short, and our lives be full of life :-) AMEN !!

I think to myself..what a wonderful world!!! Is this just a song??!!

I will never forget you my people...I have carved you on the palm of my hand..
I will never forget you..I will not leave you orphaned..I will never forget my own..
Does a mother forget her baby..she has carved her with love in her womb..
Does a mother forget her...does she ever leave her orphaned..
I will never forget my own....

This was just a school hymn ..... but today its a finger I always hold on to :-) A recent incident just made me think...why do people wanna go for moksh...may be I do not understand its deeper meaning but inspite of all hardships, ilnnesses, struggle all around.... I would still want to be blessed to be born again and be able to live in this God's carved world... HE didn't make it the way it is...he made a beautiful world...Dig, hunt, feel, close your eyes and see..there still lies beauty in the world.. I would wish to get born again and live through all the worldly relations ..... BUTT...is it because I consider myself blessed. Don't I have any problems in my life?? I have had...I will have..Life is not a bed of roses...BUT are those hard moments heavier than those love filled ones which I still remember and miss ??!!

ITNI SHAKTI HUMEI DENA DATA....MANN KA VISHWAS KAMZOR HO NA....

Someone asked - Wat is a daughter ??

:-) Being mom to one... for me the instant thought that came as an answer to the question was - my daughter is... is a satin ribbon Almighty wrapped around to hold the bond between me n my hubby stronger..... she is a lesson that time and again makes me realise my mum's value for her efforts of motherhood..... she is a blessing to me that helped me know much much more about myself....who let me learn how patient I can be....how dreadful can I be  at any incident that didn't really happen..... she is a fear....a fear which I didn't realise that it was within my parents when I was getting married being loaded with tons of instructions from my parents on how to settle in the new life with new people and I used to be like...plz I'm just going to a new house!! lolz....a daughter is a bunch of flowers...a cherished bottle of perfume....an always filled mug of tears of joy over the months,days,moments that pass by of her childhood mischiefs...

 

Woops, getting too emotional...but a daughter is always a princess to her parents !!

Fantasies...questions...wonder !!

A lovely bed time story is what my angel looks forward to as soon as sun sets and she begins to ask with a naughty smile - mumma aj khaane mei kya hai?!! My 4 year old often brings up smiles to my face...tickles my brain..touches my heart and makes me dig my soul to answer her innocent questions....
Mumma....you say God is our father...he created all of us...you say plants, animals all are living things and if we hurt any..God is hurt and he will some day ask me from my diary he maitains..why I did so and so...

Yes Darling..thats true...dont be afraid or shy to ask...always be sure that whatever you are doing is right and be humble to accept when it was not right...

Then why do these big fish in discovery eat up those small ones....why does a lion teach its cubs to hunst..why does a Cow, whom we say MATA..eat up the grass...Doesn't God maintain their diaries..Don't their parents teach them not to hurt the smaller weaker living things..
Ahh !! my baby...she is too young to understand the life cycle...hierarchy...nature..but I tried...she listens...seems to be imagining what I am telling her...I am hesitant to have another shot of question from her...Each time I answer her , my brain goes...zooooom...will my answer satisfy her or will it have a second meaning good enough t o confuse her...

This was just one short instance of a few moments, out of the many longer ones ... INNOCENCE ... is God gifted ..... passion...humanity.... love ...embrace.... is what we root into our kids ..... I don't want her to be away from the path of God neither do I want her to get too soft at heart when she sees other's needs and miseries... God help me lead her the right way. I miss my parents each day more n more... those moments when they must have joined hands for me and I was just an innocent kid :-) Thanks Mum Papa... for making me a human that I am... and a big thanks to my hubby dear for adding to it and being with me to follow all this ;-)

Do I support Anna ??

The hottest topic these days  - Team Anna and Sarkar !!! I am lending my ears each moment to the news channels to keep myself updated or to say to keep pushing me into  a dilemma all the more. Day One...Day two...Read about Anna's background. Yes, I knew about his past revolutions through fasting but this one - Is it really some sort of freedom we are fighting for... In that case who has been holding us till now ...IS it just the Sarkar ?? Hats off to Anna.. he began with a noble cause.. no selfish motives... this man had all the determination and strength to bring the entire nation together for a single cause but CORRUPTION - What is it exactly that we Indians today are standing to fight against. I too cribbed when it was about my kids admission.... when it was about my earnings being taxed and then having to pay additional taxes over again on each small and big item. I have had a strong yes to those who said system is taking us and our future to a living hell ... but then IS that enough to define corruption?? WIll a law...a bill passed in real means help control this to at least some extent. A FEAR .... which must be haunting many of us educated and earning middle class today... a fear - What if something turns worse ... How will we manage??? SIGH, a deep SIGH !! and my heart mumbles a name... a name which I have no fear or doubt about - GOD, HELP US ALL AND HOLD OUR FINGER AND LEAD US TO THE RIGHT PATH !!

No law can control such issues until and unless the involved let their conscience awake..until they see what their small and big deeds are preparing for their own future generation too..their kids and grandkids. Its one, two , moe, many more humans who have brought in this CORRUPTION ..... If one man.....if lakhs and crores have their conscience awake ...why not those handful ...why are we crores suffering at hands of those handful and WHO are those handful??

Wake up humans ..... Almighty is watching you .... us .. BE HUMAN... the ones HE created by his own hands ... HE says - I have carved you on the palm of my hand !!

And there's so much to say ...

Yes..I can speak..speak..speak..write..write and write ..... but from where to begin... Now whats most important in my life to me?? I just put this question up to myself and thought its answer would be what I write about first...So..WHATS MOST IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE TO ME??!!  Family...says my mind, heart and soul... mmm...Hey hey hey... I am a professional woman.... should this really be my first blog topic? WHY NOT?? What do I use all my professionalism for....my family!! Professionalism in balancing work and home ... professionalism in parenting my li'll one.... professionalism in trying to keep all members smiling back to me....and then comes professionalism in trying to be a supporting hand in incoming funds ;-) Okay...so I am a family woman first and then a working professional - THIS is the answer I get for myself by writing down my first blog... lol... They say just write, write anything you feel like, just write :-)

I am just hopin..all bloggers on this earth are not strictly good writers...I am one of those who are not. What got me here?? Wonder!! I have been wondering what exactly is this world about..about ourselves, about society we live in, about work we do, about family, about kids, about responsibilities, about wishes, about pleasures, about success or about failures....I was wondering do we all know what we are or we just know what we have become !! Why do I want to please the ones I love, why do I want to raise my kids well enough, why do I wish to help the needy, what makes 2 human bodies made of flesh and bones think, act, feel differently !! Woops...WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD ??!!

This wonder brought me here..as a blogger..to share and to learn :-)